Martha Washington was a hip, hip, hip lady. Another Darwin Award candidate.

KENT, Washington (AP) -- A man who placed a lava lamp on a hot stovetop was killed when it exploded and sent a shard of glass into his heart, police said.

Philip Quinn, 24, was found dead in his trailer home Sunday night by his parents.

"Why on earth he was heating a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know," Kent Police spokesman Paul Petersen said Monday.

After the lamp exploded, Quinn apparently stumbled into his bedroom, where he died Sunday afternoon, authorities said.

Police found no evidence of drug or alcohol use.

Okay, the police might not have found evidence, but like Rummy sez, absence of evidence does not mean evidence of absence.
(kudos to Mike for passing along this one)

Not a good record. Not a record to be happy about.

WASHINGTON - The U.S. military death toll in Iraq (news - web sites) rose by at least three Monday and the November total is approaching the highest for any month since the American-led invasion was launched in March 2003.

At least 133 U.S. troops have died in Iraq so far this month — only the second time it has topped 100 in any month. The deadliest month was last April when 135 U.S. troops died as the insurgency flared in Sunni-dominated Fallujah, where dozens of U.S. troops died this month.

Don't sweat it though. You're next, Iran.

"A traveling group of construction workers from Pennsylvania." Just heard that on the news (Fox affiliate) in discussion of a couple of fires this morning in a nearby college town that I may or may not commute to. How does one go about joining a traveling group of construction workers? I lived in Pennsylvania for a year, and I can't recall ever seeing a traveling troupe of construction workers. Do they just stop in the middle of a town, put up a building, and then disappear, never to be seen or heard from again? I'm intrigued. Do they have matching uniforms? Are they like the X-Men with super-construction-worker powers? Do they sing?

In other news, a woman who was eight months pregnant was found dead in Fairfax on Thanksgiving. Gee whiz, seems like that's right up MSNBC's alley. Why isn't FAUX News all over this one? Where are the news conferences? Oh, wait, the dead woman is African American. Could that have anything to do with it? Hmm....

And I'm loathe to admit that I happen to watch "Trading Spouses" on Fox. You know--for the sociological content. But the editors for that show are good at what they do. One of the wives this week was a vegan from California. Lady was batshit crazy. And the family they sent her to were alligator farmers from Louisiana. Oh, the humanity! Anyway, at one point vegan woman is preaching the power of soy, explaining that veggie burgers fight cancer whereas beef patties cause cancer. Cut to vegan woman outside smoking a cigarette. Ha.

Item! Does Shrub even listen to what he says? Re: Ukrainian elections:

"There's just a lot of allegations of vote fraud that placed the result of the election in doubt," he said as he entered a restaurant near his ranch.

"The international community is watching very carefully," the president said. "People are paying very close attention to this and, hopefully, it will be resolved in a way that brings credit and confidence to the Ukrainian government."

Do you think that anyone in his adminstration realizes the irony of *them* of all people challenging election results elsewhere because of allegations of voter fraud? That's like me doing a post on the blog about how too many people these days spend too much time online posting on their blogs.

Item! Does anyone seriously believe that elections will take place in Iraq on January 30, 2005? Short answer: No.

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Leading Iraqi political parties, including the two main Kurdish groups closely allied to the United States, called on Friday for elections scheduled for Jan. 30 to be postponed because of Iraq's widening violence.

Following a meeting at the Baghdad home of Adnan Pachachi, an influential, moderate Sunni leader and former presidential candidate, 15 political parties and groups signed a petition calling for the election to be put off for up to six months.

If the election is delayed, Shrub will undoubtedly hail this as another sign of progress, declaring again that "freedom is on the march."

Item! Most importantly, is it over between Nick and Jessica?

It's a new water fountain!

Mr.Tibbs says, "Boy! I sure do love water!"

Coco looks on as Mr.Tibbs keeps on drinking.

Patriot Flair. Anybody who has seen "Office Space" is familiar with the concept of "flair." It's the crap that servers at Outback Steakhouse have to wear on their uniforms--buttons, pins, whirligigs. During my stint at the Ground Round, I was spared from suffering this indignity. Our flair was our delicious food.

Patriot flair is then all of the adornments that you see on cars reflecting the sense of rabid nationalism that has swept that nation over the last three years. It is also the American flag pin that every politicican and their cousin wear on their lapel or other clothing. I imagine that Shrub would berate members of his administration for showing up to work without the required amount of flair much akin to the restaurant manager in "Office Space."

One of the more popular pieces of patriot flair these days is the magnetic ribbon placed on the rear of cars. This typically comes in either the yellow "Support Our Troops" variety, or in the red, white, and blue "God Bless America." Any time that I'm in a store and I see patriot flair for sale, I like to check and see where the product was made. And it's almost a guarantee that whatever the item, it is made elsewhere, whether that be the Dominican Republic, Guatemala, or my favorite, the $1 plastic American flag made in China.

As for the magnetic ribbons I saw on sale at the checkout in the grocery store yesterday, those are made in Taiwan.

The Greatest Threat to Our Nation. "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas." At least, according to the National Institute on Media and the Family, it is. The Daily Show had a line recently about how any group with the name "family" in it should be approached with caution.
I caught this group on C-SPAN this afternoon along with Holy Joementum Lieberman. To demonstrate just how violent and graphic some video games are, they showed a video clip featuring "GTA: San Andreas," "Mortal Kombat," "Halo 2," along with some others. My reaction of course was, "Wow, those games look awesome!"

Sure, seven-year olds probably shouldn't be playing some of these games. But they also probably shouldn't be eating paste in art class. And the violence at sporting events these days is much more real. Not to mention our untidy little war going on in Iraq. Seven-year olds there don't need an X-Box to see people getting fragged.

Bow down. Dear leader demands your fealty. (via Des)

One nation, under Clear Channel.

"Need some wood?" 51%? Seriously? Commander in Briefs? Wait a second...where's Margaret Spellings?

Hmm...sounds familiar. From WaPo:

KIEV, Ukraine. Nov. 22 -- Ukraine was thrown into turmoil Monday by nearly-complete election results from Sunday's presidential election, which gave Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych an insurmountable three point lead but raised the threat of unrest because of angry charges by the opposition and Western observers that the vote was tainted by widespread fraud.

Tens of thousands of people flooded Independence Square in the capital Monday amid calls for a general strike or even the kind of revolution that toppled regimes in Serbia and Georgia after suspect elections.

With 99.33 percent of the vote counted, Yanukovych had 49.42 percent of the vote compared to 46.3 percent for his opponent Viktor Yushchenko, according to the Central Elections Commission. Exit polls had initially called a victory for Yushchenko by a wide margin.

In strikingly frank language, election monitors laid out a litany of election day abuses that they said called into question the validity of the vote, as well as the future legitimacy of any Yanukovych presidency. One British member of a European Parliament observer group, using language rarely heard in election missions in Europe, said the turnout and results from certain districts favorable to Yanukovych could best be compared with elections in North Korea or in Iraq under Saddam Hussein.

Or the United States.

Shenanigans. Des has a good run down of the various shenanigans in the $388 billion spending bill passed by Congress, including the snoop (not dogg) amendment, a line aimed at further restricting abortions, and purchase of a presidential yacht. Priorities.

Sleaze-A-E. When I was a wee lad with a scruffy goatee at William and Mary, that is how we referred to the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity. SAE was truly the cheeziest frat of them all and held the reputation for being the first-year women meatmarket. Class acts all around. Just recently, they were suspended for hazing.

The College of William and Mary has suspended a 147-year-old fraternity chapter for allegedly hazing a freshman whose blood-alcohol level was reportedly almost five times the legal limit for drivers of drinking age.
...
The 17-year-old student was pledging SAE and was taken to a hospital Oct. 21 after suffering severe cuts and bruises to his head and ear from falling down a stairway in the fraternity house, an investigation by the college and the fraternity's national office found.

The student, the probe found, had a .37 percent blood-alcohol level when he arrived at the hospital.

I know, I know, I'm as shocked as you are that underage drinking was going on within a fraternity. And even more faux-shocked by the hazing. But jeebus, .37 percent? That's crazy. A BAC of .35 is comparable to surgical anesthesia, and for half of all people, .40 is a lethal level.

I had my own underage drinking experience at SAE my first semester at W&M. The first weekend after classes, a group of us headed over there for a party. From what I remember, in one room, there was a trashbag-lined garbage can filled with some sort of fruity punch beverage--most likely "Jungle Juice" or something equally original. In another room, the SAE fratboys were giving "haircuts." You'd sit in a chair, tilt your head back, and then have copious amounts of booze and juice poured in your mouth. And after a few of those, that's where it all goes a little fuzzy.

Oh, how I (don't) miss the days of sharing a small room with two other guys--one who I didn't talk with, and the other who when I did talk with him, I couldn't hear what he was saying. A lowtalker, you might say. And the Rally's Big Buford combo meal. 1/4 pound of Grade D beef product, curly fries, and a large Coke, all served-up by a tranny. Go Tribe!

You call this a democracy? Here is one of the craziest articles that I've read in quite some time. It has to do with the increasing likelihood that voter fraud most definitely happened in Florida. This is the type of stuff that is supposed to happen in countries whose names end in "-istan."

Roanoke's finest. The Roanoke Times tells it like it is.

Having raised fellow Republicans lots of political campaign money and assigned them choice committee seats, U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay received a nice "thank you" gesture from his colleagues Wednesday.

After three DeLay associates were indicted by a Texas grand jury on charges of election law violations, speculation hinted the majority leader could be indicted, too. A Republican caucus rule requires anyone under federal or state criminal indictment to be removed from leadership positions, so obliging Republicans rescinded the rule about state indictments.

Loyalty's a poor substitute for integrity.

Aww yeah. Rizzle for shizzle on the DeLay dizzle.

Sociology Bloodhound Gang. Citing statistical irregularities, UC Berkeley's crack team of sociologists call for an investigation into the Florida vote. Not to toss Shrubby out of office, but because these types of anomalies don't just happen. (yes, I know, that's sort of the definition of an anomaly, something that happens w/o explanation...piss off)

And until something is done about electronic voting, we're going to have this same issue year after year after year. Dismissing it as crackpot tinfoil hat conspiracy theory isn't helping. Especially as long as the Masons and Illuminati are running things under the umbrella of the Tri-Lateral Commission ("This dollar bill is talking to me.").

On other fronts...one day, the Republicans are lowering ethical standards. The next, they're raising debt limits. Who is the party of fiscal responsibility?

With last night's passage of the debt ceiling increase, the government's borrowing limit has climbed by $2.23 trillion since President Bush took office: by $450 billion in 2002, by a record $984 billion in 2003 and by $800 billion this year. Just the increase in the debt ceiling over the past three years is nearly 2 1/2 times the entire federal debt accumulated between 1776 and 1980.

Way to go!!! USA! USA! USA! Now gimme another $300 tax rebate!

True Crime. What is the matter with red-state people?! What does naked yardwork have to do with family values?

A Fredericksburg woman who made her son rake leaves in the nude as a punishment for his poor school behavior pleaded guilty to a felony this week.
....
According to the evidence, the incident occurred on April 27 in the Mayfield subdivision.

The 12-year-old boy had aggravated his mother by continuing to get in trouble at school. The mother responded by sending him outside that evening to rake leaves naked.

A neighbor saw the boy and called police. The naked boy was still outside with the rake in his hand when police arrived. He told police he was being punished for misbehaving in school.

The boy was never removed from the mother's custody. Haney said the mother and the child are both doing much better now.

That's just awesome. Whatever happened to a bar of soap in the mouth?

"It...it was...soap poisoning!"

(link courtesy YLH Legal Counsel)

Almost a Darwin candidate. I'd forgotten about this. Don't taunt the lions. What was this guy thinking trying to convert lions to Christianity? Everybody knows that lions are agnostic. And I think he misunderstood the whole part in the Bible about the lion's den and who got tossed in there. (thanks to my sister for reminding me of this one and giving me something else to blog about)

45 million isn't enough. How could we increase the number of uninsured in America? I know! Make it more difficult for employers to provide health insurance to their employees! But how to do this? If only someone had the vision to lead and find a way. What? Dear Leader to the rescue! (via Atrios)

Instead the administration plans to push major amendments that would shield interest, dividends and capitals gains from taxation, expand tax breaks for business investment and take other steps intended to simplify the system and encourage economic growth, according to several people who are advising the White House or are familiar with the deliberations.

The changes are meant to be revenue-neutral. To pay for them, the administration is considering eliminating the deduction of state and local taxes on federal income tax returns and scrapping the business tax deduction for employer-provided health insurance, the advisers said.

But at least two dudes won't be able to marry each other.

Today's Boondocks is on the money.

Not good.

Pink Locusts from North Africa Swarm Through Cairo. Hm. I'm not much for religion, but that doesn't sound good.

Russia Developing New Nuclear Missile. Ooh. That's not good either.

Melting Glaciers Threaten World Water Supply. Definitely not good.

Emperor Tamarin and Vietnamese Mossy Frog? Very good.

One more thing: Now that Shrub has made it clear that he will only be rewarding yes-men and yes-women (Goss, Gonzales, Rice, Spellings) who will plot the curve and then find the datapoints, can we now refer to the Cabinet as the Politburo?

More Texas idiots. What is wrong with these people?

:HOUSTON (Reuters) - Hunters soon may be able to sit at their computers and blast away at animals on a Texas ranch via the Internet, a prospect that has state wildlife officials up in arms.

A controversial Web site, http://www.live-shot.com, already offers target practice with a .22 caliber rifle and could soon let hunters shoot at deer, antelope and wild pigs, site creator John Underwood said on Tuesday.

Now, if this website let you also shoot hobos, then I'd be all for it. But as it is, it just seems like a stupid idea.

Finish him. Dear Leader spared the life of a turkey today. However, had that turkey been mentally retarded, it would have been deader than dead.

Thanks to Daver for the heads-up.

Texas idiots. Seriously, can we just give Texas back to Mexico? (link)

(AP) -- A homecoming tradition in which boys dress like girls and vice versa in a tiny Texas school district won't be held Wednesday after a parent complained about what she regarded as the event's homosexual overtones.

As a substitute for "TWIRP Day," the schools ranging from elementary to senior high decided to hold "Camo Day" -- with black boots and Army camouflage to be worn by everyone who wants to participate.

TWIRP, which stands for "The Woman Is Requested to Pay," was hosted by Spurger schools for years during Homecoming Week -- to give boys and girls a chance to reverse social roles and let older girls invite boys on dates, open doors and pay for sodas.

Plano-based Liberty Legal Institute issued a news release Tuesday reporting that it "came to the aid of a concerned parent" over an "official cross-dressing day" in the school district 150 miles northeast of Houston....

Delana Davies, 33, said she complained after reading a school notice about "TWIRP Day." Davies, whose 9-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter attend Spurger Elementary, said she viewed the day not as a silly Homecoming Week activity, but rather something related to homosexuality.

"It's like experimenting with drugs," Davies said. "You just keep playing with it and it becomes customary. ... If it's OK to dress like a girl today, then why is it not OK in the future?"

Crossdressing ---> homosexuality ---> drug use. Idiot. I would guess that out of all the years this school has had this tradition, not a single person became a cross-dresser because of it. And cross-dressing has nothing to do with being gay or straight. And why wouldn't having girls dress up in camo and black boots--traditionally male garb--turn the girls into Mary Cheney loving lesbians? Aren't Republicans the ones who bitch about "frivolous lawsuits"?
(kudos to Heidi for the link)

Shoot the messenger. The rightwing reaction to the shooting of an unarmed, wounded Iraqi which was caught on tape is pathetic and ridiculous. Blaming the reporters who filmed the shooting isn't going to jibe with the millions of people in the Middle East who have seen the video. And Sean Hannity was complaining that the media isn't showing pictures of U.S. military being killed by booby-trapped dead bodies. But you know what, Sean? If the news started showing more dead Americans, you and your buddies over at FAUX would deride that as anti-war propaganda and disrespectful to the families of the dead.
So what's Shrub going to say when they don't have elections in January?

T.A.R. Episode 1. Those pictures on the CBS website didn't quite reveal how out of shape Gus is. Otherwise, I wouldn't have put my money on his team. But, it's early, and he probably knows 49 ways to kill the other teams.

On the bio for Adam and Rebecca, it says, "Rebecca's first impression of Adam was that he was gay, but after he pursued her for months, he proved otherwise." I have no idea why she would have thought that he's gay. It should also say on their bio that reading is not a strong suit, otherwise they'd have not filled up their diesel-fueled car with unleaded. Dumbasses, don't you watch this show?

As for the married couple who were hoping this would get their relationship on track...um...not so much. From their bio: "one of the worst moments in their relationship was when they had a fight on a trip to Miami and their entire argument was recorded after her cell phone accidentally dialed her mother's answering machine." Well, suckers, all 15 fights from the first show were recorded and broadcast nationally. It's like the guy watched Colin from last season and said, "I can be just like that guy...but louder and more obnoxious and even more demeaning to my partner!" Lady, get away from him.

I like the wrestlers because their fighting is of the more entertaining kind. It's all scripted anyway.

Avi and Joe we hardly knew ye. And I don't think that's such a bad thing.

Chimpy. Shrub listening while Condi talks after the announcement of her nomination for Sec. of State.


Four more years of this?!?

The Amazing Race. Thanks to Anne for pointing out that the new season starts tonight at 9:00 on CBS.

Handicapping some of the teams, I don't give the older couple a chance. Old people never win on reality TV. That's just the way it is. One team is an ex-couple, and another is hoping that the game will helpe them get their marriage back on track. Strikes against them. And then there is the team w/ professional wrestlers. They'll make it some way to mid-season. The engaged models will stick around longer than we want them to. And I don't give the Mormon team much of a shot.
My pre-season pick for the win is the team of Gus and Hera.

Gus & Hera are a father and daughter from and Gaithersburg, Maryland and Los Angeles, California, respectively. Gus is a former CIA agent, covert operative and the first person to fly an open-cockpit plane to the North Pole. Hera is a special education teacher and holds a Masters degree in special education with a cross-cultural emphasis.

Covert operative? That's gotta help somehow. And a special ed teacher will know how to deal with some of the other teams. But, none of that matters, as shown by Season 3 winners Flo and Zack.

Homoerotic. I'm constantly amused by the various search terms that lead people to this blog. Today's search term of the day is an image search for "homoerotic." When I saw that listed as a referring page to the blog, I thought "Homeorotic?...hmm...Must have had something to do with He-Man." And sure enough, it did.

And that got me browsing through the March archives. Seems so long ago. Those were some crazy times.

Falluja in pictures. Not pretty, so be warned. CBS, NBC, and ABC won't be showing these pictures on the evening news.

This type of shit reminds me of the day after the war started. I was talking with my classes about what Bush was getting us into, how the pretense for the war was flimsy and based on deception, and how it would most likely turn into a bloody mess once it turned to urban warfare. All of this happened, none of this is a surprise. One student said in defense of the war, "I just think it's good that we're going to be kicking some ass." I'm pretty certain that she didn't end up majoring in sociology.

What a mess. It just keeps getting worse in Iraq. Here and here. And taking Falluja will solve nothing at all. Just like killing Uday and Qusay did nothing, capturing Saddam did nothing, and the "hand over" of power did nothing. Nothing has been accomplished.

And now Bush has chosen Condi to replace Powell. More incompetence.

More resignations. Colin Powell is out. No surprise there. He will pack up the last shreds of his dignity and hopefully disappear, never to be seen again. Unless he wants to write a tell-all book about how dysfunctional this crew really is. But he's the good soldier, so that's out of the question.
More importantly though, Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman, Education Secretary Rod Paige, and Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham also resigned. Not Ann Veneman! She did so much to fight testing of foods for Listeria contamination, insuring that more people needlessly die from food poisoning every year. And with Rod Paige gone, who will we have to warn us about the teachers union terrorist threat?
Again, we'll just have to wait and see what sort of Frankenbeasts Shrub finds to fill these positions. Whoever it is, it won't be good.

The really are crazy. Bushco has ordered that the CIA be purged of people who are seen as having been disloyal to Caesar--I mean, Bush. According to one former CIA official, "The CIA is looked on by the White House as a hotbed of liberals." A hotbed of liberals??? Ugh. Well, at least we're at a point where it's no big deal to lose valuable intelligence assets. Afterall, John Ashcroft says that the mission of domestic security has been achieved.

More maps. Right here.

Dick.

Go. Away. Crisco John just couldn't leave his position as A.G. without making one more inflammatory remark.

WASHINGTON - Federal judges are jeopardizing national security by issuing rulings contradictory to President Bush's decisions on America's obligations under international treaties and agreements, Attorney General John Ashcroft said Friday.

In his first remarks since his resignation was announced Tuesday, Ashcroft forcefully denounced what he called "a profoundly disturbing trend" among some judges to interfere in the president's constitutional authority to make decisions during war.

"The danger I see here is that intrusive judicial oversight and second-guessing of presidential determinations in these critical areas can put at risk the very security of our nation in a time of war," Ashcroft said in a speech to the Federalist Society, a conservative lawyers group.

The gall! I mean, it's like these judges think there's supposed to be some sort of set of checks and balances between the different branches of the government! Crazy! Why do these judges hate America?

"It's Saving Private Ryan goddammit!" My legal counsel is on a tirade tonight. "Where the hell are we going in this world?", she's yelling. And here is why. (and for the record, she is also pissed about the Pharmacists for the American Taliban)

One more thing. Isn't it pretty much general knowledge that the term "colored people" went out of vogue a couple of decades ago? Then why do I have a student hand in a paper that uses the term "colored people"? And not just once, but twice, so it wasn't accidental. Is that expecting too much? I expect to see students speak of "social rolls" (pieces of bread with lots of pizazz). But this?

If you're in the mood for politics and whatnot, then Des is on a roll today. I just don't have the energy in me to get worked up over this or this or this or even this.

The article about pharmacists refusing to give out birth control reminded me of one of the great questions of our time: How can a Christian Scientist get braces?
Prayer can heal other illnesses, but bad teeth are beyond its scope?
I ask only because I once had a roommate who was dating a Christian Scientist, and this C.S. had braces. This C.S. was also the unfortunate victim of a poorly conceived social experiment involving a revolutionary approach to dating based on finding someone that you're not attracted to, and then dating that person.

May 19, 2005. Opening day for "Episode III: Revenge of the Sith." The trailer looks pretty bitchin. I just hope this one is really, really good. That would make up for the first two which didn't quite live up to people's expectations (though I liked them more than most other people, but that's just me).

"I got Pippen!" Super-science. As in Ookla the Mok. Researchers have been working on a shot that could act as a male contraceptive. How does the shot work? It transforms the male into a paunchy 15 year old boy with big glasses and a subscription to Nintendo Power magazine.

Pharmacists for the American Taliban have already announced that they will refuse to give out the shot when and if it is marketed.

(FYI: the domain name, pharmacistsfortheamericantaliban.com, is still available and would make a great present for the holidays)

Dead Rats. Here's a picture of a Komodo dragon being fed a dead rat. This reminds me of a story from college that involves a ball python, a dead rat, and a microwave. Use your imagination. There's a second part to the story that occurs several days later and involves said snake, the room across the hall, and one of the most foul stenches ever. Again, let your imagination take you away.

Busy again. I know. Twice in one week. Totally unacceptable. My bad. Thursdays are always my worst day.

So anyway. Kristin has a link to this site, Sorry Everybody, where oodles of noodles have been sending in pictures of themselves apologizing to the world for the election. A good way to kill some time since you can't kill people.

I think it's funny that Yahoo categorizes rhino love as "Lifestyles."

And Des has a link to an article showing how we're conducting foreign relations as if it were a frathouse.

I heart Halliburton. Such easy fodder for blogging. The corruption just never ends with these people.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. ambassador to Kuwait pressured Halliburton to give a contract in 2003 to a Kuwaiti company now suspected of overcharging to bring fuel into Iraq (news - web sites), according to State Department documents released on Wednesday....

The documents, excerpts of which were released by Democratic Rep. Henry Waxman (news, bio, voting record), also said the State Department received information in the summer of 2003 that Halliburton officials allegedly demanded kickbacks and solicited bribes from Altanmia Commercial Marketing Company of Kuwait....

According to the documents, on Dec. 2, 2003, Richard Jones, U.S. ambassador to Kuwait until July 2004, sent an e-mail directing unidentified officials: "Tell KBR to get off their butts and conclude deals with Kuwait NOW! Tell them we want a deal done with Altanmia within 24 hours and don't take any excuses."

The e-mail added, "If Amb. Bremer hears that KBR is still dragging its feet, he will be livid," referring to the U.S. civilian administrator of Iraq, Paul Bremer.

And while soldiers are dying left and right, the rich keep doing their thing.

In one "sensitive but unclassified" document, the wife of a senior KBR manager reportedly lost her diamond watch at the Kuwaiti Hilton, where most KBR staff were staying, and her husband demanded the hotel buy her another one.

The e-mail, sent by an unidentified U.S. official, said the KBR manager's wife was "enamored with her new timepiece," an expensive Cartier watch.

Assholes. Freakin Cartier watches for KBR wives, yet reservists have had to buy their own body armor. Why can't we get some good ol' fashioned castle-storming going on around here?

Here's your first test, Dems. The Democrats face their first test in whether or not they roll over and accept Shrub's nomination of Alberto Gonzales to replace Crisco John as Attorney General. Here is some info on Gonzales. Didja know that he used to be general counsel for Enron? Jeepers! He also thinks that the Geneva Conventions are "quaint," and he wrote up many of the memos that led to the prison abuse scandal.

Gonzales was also Shrub's righthand man in the record executions of Texas deathrow inmates while Shrub was governor. The memos he provided Shrub on clemency were quite inadequate, giving way to the meme that Bush kills retards dead.:

[The memos] appear to have excluded, for instance, factors such as "mental illness or incompetence, childhood physical or sexual abuse, remorse, rehabilitation, racial discrimination in jury selection, the competence of the legal defense, or disparities in sentences between co-defendants or among defendants convicted of similar crimes."

Take the case of Terry Washington, a thirty-three-year-old mentally retarded man with the communications skills of a seven-year-old executed in 1997. Gonzales's clemency memo, according to Berlow, did not even mention his mental retardation, or his lawyer's failure to call, at trial, for the testimony of a mental health expert on this issue. Nor did it mention that the jury never heard about Washington's history of child abuse; he was one of ten children, all of whom "were regularly beaten with whips, water hoses, extension cords, wire hangers, and fan belts."

Execution of the mentally retarded was already under a shadow at that point - a shadow has only deepened over the ensuing years. In 2002, in Atkins v. Virginia, a majority of the Supreme Court held - too late for Washington - that executing the mentally retarded is "cruel and unusual" punishment prohibited by the Eighth Amendment.

And plainly, Washington's counsel had been ineffective: his strongest argument was never pressed. (Similarly, with respect to death row inmate Carl Johnson, "Gonzales failed to mention that Johnson's trial lawyer had literally slept through major portions of the jury selection.")

For these reasons, Gonzales' silence about Terry Washington's retardation is both inexplicable and stunning.

He might not be as wacky as Ashcroft, but he's certainly just as dangerous. If the Democrats are going to be an opposition party, this would certainly be as good a place as any to start. And they should certainly ask any nominee whether or not they agree with Ashcroft's assertion that domestic security is "mission accomplished."

Praise the lord and pass the Crisco. Asscrack resigned today. And apparently, everything is under control.

The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

Really now. My god these people set the bar low. I guess it was all those terror convictions that Ashcroft got after...oh...nevermind, there weren't any. So what was all the apocalyptic talk from Cheney during the election? Good ol' fashioned fear-mongering? Somebody tell Asscrack that shutting down Tommy Chong's bong operation and harassing a bunch of cancer patients for smoking a little weed doesn't amount to winning either the make-believe war on crime or war on terra.

What a dumbass. No wonder he lost a senate race to a dead person. A dead person.

Now all's that's left is to see what kind of Frankenbeast Bush nominates to replace Crisco John. But whoever it is, that person will sure have an easy job now that America is safe from crime and terror.

Ooh! Maps! Forget the usual red-state/blue-state map that the networks love to use. Using some other methods, we're given far different pictures of the country.

Media blackout. Since Kerry's concession speech last Wednesday, I haven't watched a minute of news programming on television (Daily Show doesn't count). No CNN, no MSNBC, no Faux--not even for kicks, and no evening news. I can't even listen to the morning callers on c-span's Washington Journal. So I've been getting all my information from blogs, salon.com, and yahoo news.
I would highly recommend to anyone else who gets sucked into cable news that you just don't watch it. It's really not that hard to eliminate from your channel surfing routine if you can get past the first 48 hours.

And here's an update on Halliburton hijinks. Bribes "may have been made" to Nigerian officials during Cheney's watch. Imagine that. Corruption is a moral value.

No time for blogging. I'm busy. It happens. So browse through other people's blogs, browse the archives, play some online poker, just do whatever you gotta do to avoid work.

*shaking head* And who are the jihadists?

U.S. and Iraqi forces hope to use the same techniques if they drive Sunni militants from Fallujah. American commanders have assembled a force of Marines, Army soldiers and U.S.-trained Iraqi fighters around Fallujah, a major insurgent base 40 miles west of Baghdad.

They are awaiting orders from interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi to launch an all-out assault.

Col. Gary Brandl voiced his troops' determination: "The enemy has got a face. He's called Satan. He's in Fallujah and we're going to destroy him."

Satan? Really? Are you sure that's the language you want to use when dealing with people who refer to the U.S. as the "Great Satan"? And since when is Allawi calling the shots?

And not to encourage fashioning tinfoil hats, but....

Fight Club. The first rule of fight club is: you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is: you do not talk about fight club. (via Juneau)

Straight male seeks Bush supporter for fair, physical fight - m4m

Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/act/47862498.html
Posted by: anon-47862498@craigslist.org
Posted on: 2004-11-04, 12:15PM

I would like to fight a Bush supporter to vent my anger. If you are one, have a fiery streek, please contact me so we can meet and physically fight. I would like to beat the shit out of you.

Craigslist pulled the ad, but they can't pull the sentiment.

Driving through D.C. earlier today, and you can see that they have already begun preparing for inauguration. Shrub didn't get to do the traditional walk down Pennsylvania Avenue last time because of all the protesters and their eggs. I see no reason why things should be any different this time.

NKOTB. Send some traffic over to Pho Asian, and check out the latest member of the Friends of Gary blog ring.

Quickie post. Because I'm tired, lazy, and hungry.

Unleash the dogs of war! Who will Bushco attack next? Iran? Syria? N.Korea? France? Nope. It's New Jersey.

LITTLE EGG HARBOR, N.J. - A National Guard F-16 fighter jet on a nighttime training mission strafed an elementary school with 25 rounds of ammunition, authorities said Thursday. No one was injured.
The military is investigating the incident that damaged Little Egg Harbor Intermediate School in southern New Jersey shortly after 11 p.m. Wednesday. The school is a few miles from a military firing range.

Holy shit. They are pissed that they didn't win Jersey. Maybe they'll drop some bombs on Ohio just for making Shrub stay up past his bedtime Tuesday night. And don't think they didn't notice you either, Hawaii. Darth Cheney doesn't travel 10 hours to look uncomfortable wearing a lei just for kicks.

Gracious he is not. Shrub had a press conference today. Among other things, he said:

I'll reach out to everyone who shares our goals.

And the other 55 million who don't share his goals? "Fuck off."

Jesusland. Without blue state tax dollars, the red states would be screwed. "Values" aren't what pays for those massive red state farming subsidies. More detailed map at Procfreak.


(Hello to Steve Gilliard's readers...stick around, have a piece of pie)

The bright side. 56 million of us said "No" to the radical conservative agenda of Bushco. Don't let Bushco forget that. Let's make a date for January 20th in D.C. just to be sure.
Need a new bumpersticker to replace "Defend America, Defeat Bush." I'm thinking "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry." Other suggestions are welcomed.

The five stages of grief. Let's get this over with quickly.

Denial: We've still got those provisional ballots in Ohio to count. Absentee ballots all over the place. The electors could decide not to give their votes to Bush. It's not over yet.

Anger: FUCK YOU, America. FUCK. YOU. You like 100,000 dead Iraqi civilians because of your false war? 8000 wounded American soldiers and 1100 dead in Iraq because of imperial hubris and incompetent post-war planning not enough to quench your desire for misguided vengeance? Great, well you're gonna have a lot more blood on your hands. Don't want gay marriage? Fanfuckintastic. You got your way. A lot of good it's gonna do when you can't afford your prescription drugs, your unemployment benefits have run out, and your kid's fucking school is overcrowded. And don't think for a fucking second that "tort reform" is going to make a difference, because it won't. Global warming is real, motherfuckers, and you just sealed the deal. Balanced budget? Ha. And when the Bush Supreme Court makes abortion illegal again, and thousands of women are dying from unsafe back-alley abortions, that's on you, America.
Thought the world just hated our government? Fuck that. The world hates you the people now, America, you stupid, weak, arrogant, ignorant sons of bitches.
In thirty years, when people look back at what happened on November 2nd, 2004, and ask what people were thinking, all I'll have to say is, "Fuck you."

Bargaining: Please, America, think about what you've just done. We'll give you your tort reform and your partially privatized social security. We'll quit bitching about how the 2000 election was stolen. Take some school vouchers, give it another try, maybe it'll actually work this time around. More handguns for everyone. We'll lock away Michael Moore. Just please, please, please don't let Bush back in office for four more years.

Depression: Fuck. I mean, just, fuck. I can't take another four years of this. This is horrible. Disgusting. I just want to curl up in the fetal position and lie in the dark until it's over. Where's my tub of cake icing?

Acceptance: Bring it on, motherfuckers! Republicans control the House, the Senate, the White House, and Bush is gonna have three or four Supreme Court justices to appoint. Bring on the radical rightwing conservative agenda. No more blaming Clinton or the Democrats. It's on the Republicans' heads now. And on the bright side...umm...I'll get back to you on that one.


(update: somehow this post made its way onto livejournal.com as well as a Clay Aiken discussion board and an adults-only Harry Potter board (?) among other places...thanks for visiting, take a look around, and y'all come back now, hear?)

It's official. Kerry concedes. It's so upsetting that Coco just threw up (honestly, she did).

There's a phrase that all who voted for Kerry should all get used to saying in the coming years: "I fucking told you so."

I hope I'm wrong. But nothing that has happened over the last four years, or the last twenty-four hours, leads me to believe otherwise.

Schwarzenegger in '08.

Reap what you sow, motherfuckers. Reap it.

George Bush's America. My legal counsel is in rural Maryland today. She was at a gas station filling up the car when some asshole says to her something along the lines of "I should smash in your rear window" in reference to the two John Kerry stickers. She says that he said it in a sort of joking way, but that doesn't make a bit of difference. That's Bush Country.

Fuck you, America. Fuck. You.

There's still a slim chance things could turn out differently than it looks right now. So let's leave that option on the table as long as possible.

But dammit. What the fuck happened? And I say that rhetorically. Don't anyone try to explain to me what happened.

What a clusterfuck.
It's not over yet, but my god, what a fucking mess. Absolute disgrace. Ohio can't count provisional ballots for eleven days. And they might have 250,000 of them. Florida has a huge amount of absentee ballots to count. Military ballots still coming in all over. And with Fox and NBC calling Ohio for Kerry when there is still uncertainty, it's clear that the media didn't learn a goddam thing from 2000. But more than that, this country didn't learn a goddam thing since 2000.

Bottom line is, we might not have a clear winner for a long fucking time.

It might be some time before I post anything else.

Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody wang chung tonight.

Go Kerry.

I'm out.

It's big. Voter turnout is huge so far today with lines everywhere. And not that it means much, but the early numbers are looking good.

Baby Jesus can't help you now, George.

I voted. It's like "Survivor," right? You vote for the person you want kicked off the island? What?!? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Got there at 6:45, had about a dozen people in front of us, and by 7:00, the line was out the door. Took about ten minutes to check in and cast my vote using the computer touchscreen voting machine. After touching "Cast Vote," the screen says, "Thankyou, your vote has been counted." My response is, "Yeah, sure." Nothing like unbridled confidence in the democratic system.

And if you want to know what sort of shenanigans are going on in Ohio, there is a blog devoted to monitoring GOP efforts to suppress the vote. Sounds like it's already started. Fuckers.

"The board is set. The pieces are moving."

Well, it's here, folks. Finally. Here's to hoping for a clear Kerry victory.

With 0% precincts reporting, Sportscenter projects a win for Kerry tomorrow.

A word about Virginia. Virginia hasn't gone to a Democrat since 1964 when Johnson beat Goldwater. Most likely, that's not going to change this time. But if that were to change, this would be the year. First, there have been a record number of absentee ballots returned--nearly 25,000 more than in 2000. Voter registration has also gone up by 11 percent, adding 400,000 people to the voter rolls. Virginia has also lost 27,000 jobs since 2001. And the Roanoke Times, the largest circulating paper in SWVA, endorsed Kerry.
Bush won Virginia in 2000 by 220,000, and Nader captured 60,000 votes. So it's a stretch.
As for Maryland, it's a safe blue state. But I'll still be at the polling place at 6:45 tomorrow morning. I just can't decide who to vote for.
On a side note, I've been watching some of the MTV Choose or Lose programming today. Interestingly enough, it's probably more informative and honest than the crap on the cable news networks.

More signs. In response to a column in the Post last year saying that the "tealeaves" were pointing to a Bush win, I wrote a letter to the editor suggesting otherwise. Among the signs suggesting that Bush will be a one-termer just like Poppy: no president with a last name starting with B (James Buchanan or George Bush Sr.) has won re-election. The only other father and son to be President, John and John Quincy Adams, lost their re-election bids. "And last and most important," I wrote, "all Presidents who lost the popular vote (John Quincy Adams, Rutherford B. Hayes and Benjamin Harrison) were ousted after one term. Adams gained the nickname ‘Old Man Eloquence’, Harrison was known as the ‘Human Iceberg’ and Hayes was known to critics as ‘His Fraudulency.’ The tealeaves say that George Bush is neither eloquent nor an iceberg. But they do say something else."

November? I swear, it seems like it was just October.

One more day.

Remember back in 2002 in the middle of all the corporate scandals when Shrub was catching crap for his own shady dealings when he was with Harken? Boy, those were good times. Who would have thought then what wonderful moments the next two years would bring.