The Impaler Update. In a blow to the Dark Side and what can only be understood as a sign of divine intervention and proof of God's existence, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey's bid for governor of Minnesota, suffered a setback on Monday when The Impaler was arrested on two felony counts. But as Shrub has shown, just cuz you have a criminal record doesn't mean that you can't steal win an election.