In the morning, VH1 and MTV actually play some videos. So once I've had my fill of the crazies calling in to C-SPAN's "Washington Journal," and after I've gotten my daily dose of athletes behaving badly on Sportscenter, I switch over to the Viacom subsidiaries so that I can stay up on just how horrible the pop music scene is these days. Here's what I learned today:
1. Avril Lavigne is still mopey about something though I'm not sure exactly what (being Canadian perhaps).
2. "Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana" can now replace "chickeny China the Chinese chicken" as the worst song lyric in the last decade. If you don't know what I'm talking about, pray like MC Hammer that you don't ever find out. (I'm not going to give you a link on this one...you know how to Google if you're so inclined)
3. The singer from the crappy post-grunge whiny-rock band Seether resembles a dirty, swollen Jimmy Fallon. And it looks like he's been working on his rock star tortured-soul look for the last 15 years, and the closest he's come is a look of constipation.
4. The band Alter Bridge is simply Creed with a new singer. And judging from the video, my Creed bird crap thesis appears to be holding true. Joel warned me about this one a while back, but I still wasn't quite ready.
5. I'm still not sure who is the worse singer, Ashley or Jessica Simpson. But I know that Ashley Simpson is hardcore punk. How do I know? She wears a shirt that says, "Punk," silly. And she's got her Alanis Morrisette/Joe Cocker shaky-hand, awkward-motion thing going on. And she died her hair black. So you KNOW she's for real.