The Unnatural Files, Roanoke edition.

10/8 Valley View Mall, Roanoke, VA
"Oh shit, oh shit, it's him!" Unnatural!

This sighting occured while home for fall break. For some reason, probably because there was nothing else to do, a friend and I decided to head over to Valley View Mall. Probably to see if the Mall guy was there---this guy, probably in his 30s, who was always walking around the mall in a t-shirt, black pants, thick-rimmed glasses, and a shaved head. Sure enough, he was. But as we're walking along, I saw someone with a plastic complexion and bleach-blonde hair. No way that it was Unnatty. But it was. And so in a hushed voice, I said, "Oh shit, oh shit, it's him!" "Who?," my friend asked. "Unnatural Man!," I said. What on earth brought Unnatural Man to Valley View Mall at the exact same time that I was there? And why would he even be in Roanoke? He was from California, so I could see why he might not go home for break. But Roanoke? Most unnatural.