The Unnatural Files, Roanoke edition.
10/8 Valley View Mall, Roanoke, VAThis sighting occured while home for fall break. For some reason, probably because there was nothing else to do, a friend and I decided to head over to Valley View Mall. Probably to see if the Mall guy was there---this guy, probably in his 30s, who was always walking around the mall in a t-shirt, black pants, thick-rimmed glasses, and a shaved head. Sure enough, he was. But as we're walking along, I saw someone with a plastic complexion and bleach-blonde hair. No way that it was Unnatty. But it was. And so in a hushed voice, I said, "Oh shit, oh shit, it's him!" "Who?," my friend asked. "Unnatural Man!," I said. What on earth brought Unnatural Man to Valley View Mall at the exact same time that I was there? And why would he even be in Roanoke? He was from California, so I could see why he might not go home for break. But Roanoke? Most unnatural.
"Oh shit, oh shit, it's him!" Unnatural!