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Friday, September 30, 2005

Unnatural Man, Part the Second. Who is Unnatural Man? He is a man who was unnatural in every way. What first caught my attention in bowling class was his unnatural look. His could only be described as like some sort of space-age plastic with an artifician sheen. And his hair. His hair was bleach blonde, and meticulously combed and parted. It's how you'd imagine a Ken doll to have hair in real life. Alone, they were odd. Together, they were Unnatural.

And then, I watched Unnatural Man bowl. He even bowled unnaturally (using a 12 pound ball). His style was backhanded with his palm facing down rather than up, a technique which later I would learn did not help his bowling average.

I was fascinated. I had to know more. Who was this man who was so seemingly unnatural? And what else about him was also unnatural?

I told my friends about Unnatural Man. Upon seeing him at the dining hall, they agreed that he was indeed quite unnatural. And so we opened the Unnatural Files (a sheet of paper taped on the wall) which we would use to document sitings and other pertinent information. And by the end of the school year, we had learned quite a bit about Unnatty Man including a certain borderline infatuation with a certain performer who sang on the "Robinhood" soundtrack.

And before you say, "So, what you're telling me is that you stalked this guy?", let me make it clear that no, we didn't stalk him. It's not like we ever took stuff off his dorm room door tried to get stuff he used looked in his dorm room window sent him dead animals or called up breathing heavily at 4a.m. And we generally didn't seek him out. That wasn't part of the operation.

All this is a way of introducing what will be a regular feature for a while (since I don't have anything else original to blog about). When the dates coincide, I'll be posting the short accounts of sitings as well as other information that we picked up along the way. There might even be pictures.

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