Item! If you've never read Jesus' General, there's no better time than now to start.

Item! Serving a detainee a fancy meal doesn't make up for torture, especially when that detainee is a U.S. soldier posing as a detainee.

Item! I'm almost finished peeling. I'm really sorry now that I didn't take my legal counsel's advice and photodocument the whole episode. I'm very relieved though. It feels like I stopped the rot with a sixer off a googly.

Item! If you got here via an internet search for Joel Osteen, just know that that dude is a crackhead.

Item! How could I have forgotten? June 4th was the one year anniversary of the announcement that Creed broke up.

Item! "Oz: Season 5" releases on DVD Tuesday. I'm giddy just thinking about the murder, prison rape, and male nudity.