Calling the tip line. In order to try and find out what is meant by "suspicious activity," I called up 1-800-492-TIPS. I placed the call from a pay phone in the shopping center across the street. Here is a transcript of the short conversation:

Ring...ring...

Operator: (deep male voice) Maryland tip line.

Me: Hi, yeah, I saw the billboards on the Beltway asking people to call in to report suspicious activity, and I wasn't sure what you mean by suspicious activity.

Operator: Just anything out of the ordinary.

Me: Okay, because I see my neighbor wandering around drunk in his backyard all the time, but I didn't figure that's the sort of thing you want called in.

Operator: No, nothing like that.

Me: So is there any sort of type of person I should be watching for?

Operator: Um....no, just anything out of the ordinary.

Me: Okay, thanks, bye.

"Anything out of the ordinary"??? Can they be any less specific? That's even less specific than "suspicious activity." So I should call in if I see anything that doesn't conform to my mental construct of what I consider to be ordinary? If nobody talks during a movie, should I call that in? That's certainly "out of the ordinary."

I could tell that the guy paused and had to think for a second before answering if there's any type of person I should be looking for. I should call again and specifically ask if I should be on the watch for "A-rabs," and see what I'm told. Because you know that's what they mean. Even though there are all sorts of crazy white people running around this country. Abortion clinic bombings? Oklahoma City? Church bombings? Anthrax letters (okay, they never caught anyone for that, but you know it was a crazy white dude)? That old guy in the tractor on the Mall last year?

It's just another reason why I hate this administration and what they've done to our country, encouraging the unwashed masses to spy on their neighbors and act as junior homeland security deputies.

If you want to call up the tip line and pursue your own line of questioning, perhaps trying to find out what qualifies as "out of the ordinary", then please leave a comment and let us know what you found out. My guess is that they're trained to stick to a standard, vague non-reply.