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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Shotgun + Trousers = Bad. Just more mindless posting here.
LONDON (Reuters) - A British man who accidentally shot himself in the testicles after drinking 15 pints of beer was jailed for five years on Tuesday for possessing an illegal firearm, a court spokesman said.

David Walker, 28, was arguing with a friend at a pub in South Yorkshire, northern England, when he went home to get his sawed-off shotgun, which he jammed into his trouers.

But as he walked back to the pub, the gun went off, blasting pellets into his testicles. Doctors later removed what remained of his testicles during emergency surgery.

Walker admitted possessing a prohibited weapon at a hearing in June at the court in Sheffield.

"Removed what remained...." Aiiyee!
Speaking of which...that reminds me of a time when I was but a wee lad, and I went down to the Virginia/N.C. border boonies with my friend Mikey P who was visiting his grandfather for the day. We took along our fishing rods, and we headed on down the road to the pond. We didn't have any bait with us, so Mike said, "We're gonna stop off by my uncle's to get some bullballs for use for fishin." Okay, sure thing, sounds good to me. Bullballs. Must be some sort of brand of fish bait.
We ride down to his uncle's barn where they had some cattle penned up and prop up our bikes against the fence. We walk over to where his uncle and a couple other guys are, and Mike exchanges pleasantries with them. At least, that's what I figured. A yankee-bred city-slicker like me couldn't fully understand the thick southern dialect. So, I just nodded my head a lot and smiled.
I didn't see any bait lying around, so I figured we might have to go up to a house or somewhere else to pick it up. And then, Mike's uncle pulls out a pocketknife, kneels down beside the penned animal, and I realize that when Mike said "bullballs," that's just what he meant.
His uncle grabbed a ziploc bag, popped them in, and we were on our way.
I'll save you from other details about how one actually uses them as bait (you don't just stick a hook through the whole thing). I don't think I caught any fish that day. But I did learn how you turn a bull into a steer.

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