SCANDAL!!!
It has been brought to my attention that the voting for Least Favorite Member of Bushco was most likely tainted. A source who will remain unnamed tipped me off to the likelihood that the final tally was altered by multiple voting, throwing the vote in Ashcroft's favor, and stealing the title of Least Favorite from Dick Cheney, a man truly deserving of the title.

In the spirit of full-disclosure, I must tell you that I was made aware of the threat of fraud while the polls were still open. Upon hearing this, I made comments suggesting that I might cancel the poll, but I decided that such an action would be inappropriate. In my heart, I did not believe that the vote was being manipulated. But now, the facts suggest otherwise.

This most egregious case of vote tampering underscores the very real threat of election fraud posed in the upcoming presidential race by the use of electronic touchscreen voting. Most touchscreen voting machines leave no papertrail and are susceptible to hacking, so it is quite possible that someone could alter the tally and leave no trace. Without a papertrail, this election could make 2000 look like a smooth ride.

In light of this turn of events, we also salute Dick Cheney for his service to the country over the past three and a half years. Whether it is allowing Enron to write national energy policy, lying about matters of national security, creating a relationship between Iraq and al Qaida that did not exist, allowing Halliburton to receive no-bid contracts, telling senators to fornicate themselves, or being the one who is actually running the country, Dick Cheney has taken "crony capitalism" and secretive government to new heights. And for that, Dick Cheney, we salute you.