Late Show had a comedy bit last night called "What Democrats Say/What Republicans Say." Very good. From the Wahoo Gazettte show summary:

Dems say: "The key to our victory will be winning crucial swing states."
Reps say: "The key to our victory will be rigging the vote in crucial swing states."

Dems say: "Honoring those with distinguished military records is a top priority."
Reps say: "Concealing the President's military record is a top priority."

Dems say: "States should decide the issue of gay marriage."
Reps say: "Marriage is only between a man and a woman, or two really hot chicks."

Dems say: "People of all races, creeds, and walks of like are working together to elect Kerry."
Reps say: "People from al sorts of different country clubs are working to re-elect Bush."

Dems say: "John Kerry was a war hero."
Reps say: "George W. Bush was a cheerleader." (see photo of Bush as a cheerleader)

Dems say: "Our vice presidential candidate exudes youth and vitality."
Reps say: "Our vice presidential candidate exudes a strange wheezing noise when he climbs stairs."

Ouch. That smarts. Funny because it's true.