What would Jesus watch? Several summers ago, Cruel.com had as their Cruel Site of the Day a movie review of "South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut" by this whackjob religious website, Capalert. The review scored off the charts on the inintentional comedy scale (see the listings for the "Sex/Homosexuality" score).

It comes as no surprise that the purveyor of the website thinks that "The Passion of the Mel" is the greatest movie to come along in years, though perhaps not suitable for the youngest of the youngsters. In explaining the score the movie received for "Wanton Violence," the rewiew lists "kicking our near-dead Lord." My chuckle at reading that is another sure sign that if there is a Hell, I'll be there with The Donald. The reviewer notes, "It was not Jesus in the film. It was Jim Caviezel in the full-body moulage." Really? Not actually Jesus, huh? Could've fooled me, I could've sworn that Jesus was a white dude of european descent with long flowing hair. He also says that Jim Caviezel was struck by lighting during the filming? Huh? Surely I would've heard about this on "Access Hollywood" or "Extra." Maybe he's just being metaphorical. Like me saying that this guy is full of shit. I don't mean that his body actually is composed of shit, I just mean it as a figure of speech. Or maybe he does have shit running through his veins, I really don't know for sure, I suppose.

(For more movie reviews, see the Capalert index)