Survivor All-Stars is on tonight. I just wish this damn show would hurry up and end so that I wouldn't feel compelled to watch it anymore. I'm so sick of Boston Rob and his dopey "Hey, I'm in control heeuh, I control everyting" shtick. And how the hell does his facial hair only grow out in a goatee? Rupert obviously isn't going to rip off Jeff Probst's head anytime soon. What I want is a Survivor season with no reward challenges, no bins of rice, no Sprite product placements, but with a heavy dose of steroids and hallucinogens slipped into the water supply. Now that would be awesome.

Only two episodes left of "The O.C." In case you've missed this season, you didn't miss much. Only one shooting, two suicide attempts, a couple of fistfights, a Mrs.Robinson romance, one cheesy running through the airport sequence, a drunk-driving near-fatal crash, an episode of domestic abuse, and one very special holiday episode. If they can work in a pregnancy scare in the last two episodes, then I think they'll have nearly completed the full sweep of teenage drama storylines.