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Monday, April 05, 2004

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." The Orioles are in 1st Place! This will probably be the only day of the entire season that I will be able to say that, so let's say it again, the Orioles are in 1st place! Being an Orioles fan isn't as much fun as being a Yankees fan because the last time the O's were in the World Series was when they won it back in 1983. And it's not as painful as being a Red Sox fan for obvious reasons. My t-ball team was named the Orioles, and thanks to the logic I operated on at the time, I became an Orioles fan. And like many of the teams that the O's have fielded since, our team sucked. We really did have kids who were picking daisies in the outfield. Our record the first year was 2-13, and I think we won five games the next year. We were so bad that we didn't even care about losing, we were more exciting about getting sodas after the game. When we did win by beating the only two teams in the league worse than us, the coaches took us to Burger King for milkshakes. Take a bunch of hyperactive seven and eight-year old boys, juice them up with milkshakes, and the end result is restaurant windows sprayed with with chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla shakes. Good times.

"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." The U.S. military is attempting to seal-off Fallujah in preparation for retaliation against the killing of the Blackwater security force members last week. And it just keeps getting worse.

"Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly alright now. We're fine. We're all fine you. How are you?" It turns out that the American press office in Iraq is packed with GOP loyalists:
    One-third of the U.S. civilian workers in the press office have GOP ties, running an enterprise that critics see as an outpost of Bush's re-election effort with Iraq a top concern. Senor and others inside the coalition say they follow strict guidelines that steer clear of politics.
    One of the main goals of the Office of Strategic Communications -- known as stratcom -- is to ensure Americans see the positive side of the Bush administration's invasion, occupation and reconstruction of Iraq, where 600 U.S. soldiers have died and a deadly insurgency thrives.

"Oota goota, Solo?" Condi will be testifying in public and under oath on Thursday. Story has it that a photo faxed to the W.H. was part of an offer that she couldn't refuse.

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