Earth Day 2004. Today is Earth Day. This year for Earth Day, I pledge not to kill any members of an endangered species. Unless they were asking for it. I pledge not to dump paint thinner in the grass behind any elementary schools. I pledge not to burn any more tires than is absolutely necessary. And lastly, I pledge not to hold George W. Bush solely responsible when the polar icecaps melt in 25 years, flooding the California coastline and all of New York City, putting us one step closer to global chaos and "a world of savagery, super science, and sorcery" as depicted in "Thundarr the Barbarian."