Cheney Wows Sept.11 Commission By Drinking Glass of Water While Bush Speaks (The Onion)


The Onion slays me. Shrub and Cheney will be holding hands when they meet with the 9/11 commission today in the Oval Office. C-Span won't be carrying a live feed of this one. In fact, there won't be any videocameras present. Nor will there be any recordings of any type. And there won't be a transcript produced. The only record will be from two staff members taking notes by hand. Impressive, eh? It's not like this is important testimony that would be useful for the public to have. Oh, and their testimony won't be under oath. Ha.
You know, if I were a more cynical person, I might be led to think that Bush and Cheney have something to hide, and that Shrub's handlers are afraid of letting him go in front of the commission by himself for fear that it would become evident how clueless he really is. Fortunately, I'm not the cynical type. So I'm sure that they're just meeting jointly to save the commissioners' time. It's only the courteous thing to do. And they probably don't want to set a precedent of allowing sitting Presidents to be forced to testify under oath while being videotaped. Unless that testimony is about oral sex. But the largest intelligence breakdown in U.S. history? Nah.