Start loading the U-Haul. Intelligence sources report that Osama bin Laden might be preparing to move from Pakistan back across the boarder to Afghanistan. Analysts started to become suspicious when they heard rumors that Osama had been sited shopping at the Wana region IKEA and picking up some packaging materials at the local MailBoxes Etc. Top al Qaeda deputies close to Osama say that he feels that the Pakistani mountains are starting to become overcrowded. "Osama remembers the days when you could smoke a bowl and fire some RPGs at the infidels without anyone else horning in on the action, back when the monkeybars weren't being used for training by every extremist nutcase who can say 'Death to America.' He's very saddened by all this. Oh...and death to America."

If O.B.L. is making a move, it's probably because we finally got Pakistan to help out with the search, and we've put more forces in the region. Now, that begs the question, why haven't we been going fullforce after this s.o.b. for the last two and a half years? Something to do with the Iraq war perhaps? Election year?

Of course, all this is predicated on the idea that we don't already have O.B.L. chilling in a freezer just waiting to be thawed out in time for another October surprise.