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Monday, March 15, 2004

The local news just said that it was a good night for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But really, when isn't it a good night for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Is there any other hall of fame that rocks quite like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Probably not.

My younger brother's apartment in Poland is probably being raided by the police right about now. Good luck getting back in the country, little bro.

I'm like a sick person with politics. I have my good days, and I have my bad days. I think today was one of my bad days. As per doctor's orders, tomorrow will be no-politics-Tuesday. If John Ashcroft issues a statement regarding how the power of prayer helped him through his surgery, you won't hear it from me. If Dick Cheney is caught in a bathtub pouring crude oil over his head while singing "It's Raining Men," then you'll have to read about it elsewhere. And if Shrub finally comes clean and admits to having been suspended from flying in the T.A.N.G. due to being caught with cocaine, I won't say a word.

Funny story about my older brother. In the very early years, he was a pretty good athlete. In 9th grade, he ran cross-country, track, and played basketball. I think it was the mystical powers of his puberty-moustache that gave him his abilities. But once he turned 15, he started to change. His hair in the back started to grow longer, but the hair on top stayed the same length. The evil magic of Ronnie James Dio mixed with the power chords of early Metallica, and he soon had a mullet to be reckoned with. His athletic abilities declined in direct proportion to the size of his mullet, and he traded in the basketball for an air guitar (a wooden tennis racket to be accurate). Lacking any real musical talent, he and his friends would videotape themselves playing in an air band. AC/DC, Megadeth, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Stryper--- you name it, they "played" it.
The air guitar was just the gateway to other deviant behavior. Before long, he was getting drunk at work before Xmas eve mass, being arrested for underage possession, dating girls who kept switchblades under the bed, and joining National Honor Society.
So now that you know the type of role model that I had to work from, maybe that will explain a few things.
(In fairness to my older brother, he was only arrested two or three more times, and he did end up getting a job at Subway working as a sandwich artist. He parlayed that into a PhD, but I could still kick his ass if I really wanted to.)

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