Apparently there isn't anything else more pressing for Congress to address than the issue of steroids in baseball. I must've missed the train on the day when we solved the riddles of what happened to Saddam's WMD, where Osama is, how 9/11 was allowed to transpire, who leaked the name of a CIA operative working on weapons proliferation, who used pilfered files stolen from Democratic Senators' computers by Republican staffers, where the surplus went, where the jobs are, are there aliens stored at Area 51, and what the hell is wrong with this goddam country?

Donald Fehr is the head of the players' assocation, so he's the lead guy when the players are negotiating with the owners. He was on the Hill today testifying about steroids and baseball, and what should be done to correct the problem. When asked why baseball doesn't adopt a policy similar to the NFL policy of random drug testing throughout the year with immediate suspension for violations, Fehr dug out his notes from 8th grade civics class: "While the Fourth Amendment's protection against unreasonable searches and seizures is not directly applicable to the private employment setting, the important principles on which it is based should not be lightly put aside."

I'm sorry, but when the average income of baseball players is over $1 million a year not including endorsements, then I think that it's not asking too much that you pee in a cup every now and then. Am I saying that just because you're disgustingly rich that you should be treated differently? You're damn right that's what I'm saying. If someone offered me a $1 million a year salary, I'll piss in a cup six days a week, and on the seventh, I'll piss in the cup, swallow it down, and piss it out again.
Steroids. Good for your pecs, bad for your nuts. And they're not even good for your pecs. They'll turn you into a damn freak in charge of the world's fifth largest economy.