Maybe it was b/c I was talking to my mom on the phone at the time, but my jaw hit the floor when during the Superbowl halftime show Justin Timberlake introduced the world to Janet Jackson's right breast. And CBS' and J.T.'s explanation that it was unplanned is about as believable as Dubya's call for an "independent" investigation into the missing WMD.

You could probably guess that the leading cause of traffic accidents on Superbowl Sunday is drunk driving. But did you know that the second leading cause is old ladies driving through red lights?

Case in Point:
Nathalie and I went out in our one-year old Saturn, the only brand new car either of us has ever had, for coffee this morning. On our way back from Starbucks, we were the first car stopped at a red light across the street from our apartment building. Right across the street. Stopped behind us is a Jeep Grand Cherokee, and on the opposite side of the road, there is a red Ford Taurus also stopped facing in our direction. All of a sudden, the red Taurus pulls out into the intersection--while the light is still red--and I say, "What the eff is that car doing?" As soon as I say that, a minivan heading through the intersection from our right slams on its breaks and avoids t-boning the Taurus. But without enough time to stop, the minivan hits the rear bumper of the Taurus, turning the Taurus dead-straight in our direction. At this split-second, I realize what's about to happen and start to scream as many curses as one can in three seconds. The woman in the Taurus makes no effort to brake or to correct her direction, and she slams into us head-on, driving us backwards into the Jeep.
Nathalie was holding her coffee, and lucky enough it wasn't scalding hot, because the coffee went first all over her face from the front impact, and then all over the windshield, dash, and rest of the car from the rear impact.
The woman in the Taurus gets out, had to be in her late 70s if not over 80, and she has absolutely no idea how or why she just caused a four-car accident. Rather than choke her because Nathalie had hit her head and was pretty shaken up, I told granny that she ran a red light. Granny then said some crap about the sun being in her eyes, not being able to see the color of the light, and just pulling out because she thought it was clear. And she said, "Well, this is all my fault." I turned to her and screamed, "No effing way! You're kidding!" At least, I wanted to.
Cops show up, they give granny a ticket for running a red, everyone's insurance info is exchanged, and our car is towed away. The front bumper was smashed to bits, the hood was crumpled, side panels cracked, and our rear bumper lost the battle of wills with the Jeep and was crumpled as well. And that 48-inch flatscreen plasma tv in the trunk will need to be replaced. But at least we weren't seriously injured, and we could walk home. Because we were RIGHT ACROSS THE GODDAM STREET FROM OUR APARTMENT! Ugh.
I took Nathalie to urgent care to get checked out. The movie "Beaches" was playing on the tv in the waiting room, and for some reason I found that kinda funny. Nathalie checked out okay, she's still pretty sore and will be even more tomorrow, but she's a trooper and should be fine. I'm a little sore, but I can't tell if it's from the wreck or just from being totally out of shape and stressed.
We don't know if the Saturn will be declared totaled, or if there will just be thousands of dollars of damage. Either way, it's a headache neither one of us needs. And at the end of the day, I still smell like coffee.